The beauty of the Spring flowers and the longer days are welcome, after the hibernations of Winter. As well as heralding in milder days (hopefully), March also brings with it Mother’s Day.

This can be a difficult day, understandably. We want to acknowledge that. Images and notifications about it can be all around us, and take us unawares.

As with all things grief related, there is no wrong or right way to feel about such days. You may choose to ignore it, or you may wish to mark it in some way. 

There is a website called ‘What’s Your Grief’ which is about all kinds of grief. 100 bereaved Mothers were asked to share something they wished people to know about their grief on Mother’s Day and these have been collated.

Our hope is that it may help you feel less alone with it, if you do, and validated in feeling whichever way you feel.

Below is a poem which we have read out at Memory Day before, which connects to some of the sentiments in the article. We hope the day is manageable for you all.

Words by Counsellor and Bereavement Lead Alicia Tomsett

The Elephant in the Room

By Terry Kettering 
There’s an elephant in the room.
It is large and squatting,
so it is hard to get around it.

Yet we squeeze by with,
“How are you?” and, “I’m fine,”
and a thousand other forms of trivial chatter.

We talk about the weather;
we talk about work;
we talk about everything else—
except the elephant in the room.

There’s an elephant in the room.
We all know it is there.
We are thinking about the elephant
as we talk together.

It is constantly on our minds.
For, you see, it is a very big elephant.
It has hurt us all, but we do not talk about
the elephant in the room.

Oh, please, say their name.
Oh, please, say their name again.
Oh, please, let’s talk about
the elephant in the room.

For if we talk about their death,
perhaps we can talk about their life.
Can I say to you
and not have you look away?
For if I cannot,
then you are leaving me alone
in a room—with an elephant.